What started it all.......................Tough Mudder

This time last year I was trying to figure out how best to get my backside off the couch that was now firmly imprinted with it's shape.  Facebook had become one of my many addictions that I found I could happily do off the said couch.  I kept noticing one advert that for some reason always seemed to appear.  One day I finally decided to "click" the link.  A momentary lapse in mental judgement?  Or the one moment that would forever change my life.  Tough Mudder appeared on my screens.  Most folk would laugh at the thought of this event but not me I had to find out more.

At that time the seed was definitely sown in my brain unknown to me!  I knew there was no way I could ever do it.  1, I never did any exercise.  2, I ate the biggest amount of rubbish and ate for the sake of eating, not because I was hungry but, just because it comforted me and finally.........3, it would kill me!

Roll on the to the 1st of August 2011 the day my life changed.  I signed up to bootcamp and almost killed myself all in the space of one hour!  But, that little seed that had been planted months before, well, it started to sprout and grow.  Maybe one day I could complete in Tough Mudder and this new bunch of "crazies" I met that night may just be the ones I needed to help me achieve this!  Seeing these girls battle to complete the first challenges I knew they would love the thought of the challenge as much as I did.  Only thing was I had to complete one last step.....................I had to actually talk to them all.  At that time my confidence was at an all time low.  I was at my heaviest ever weight and struggled to do anything let alone open myself up to ridicule if they didn't like me or, like school at school was the one that was always on the outside looking in.

I have no idea why I was worried!  The whole group just gelled.  Like a strange, crazy, no normal people allowed family.  These girls were what kept me going.  The day when I struggled to run the length of the hall, they were the ones cheering me on.  When I was about to collapse and be sick they were the ones telling me to puke and get back on it.  Just like on my first 10k when they were there at the start line telling me I could do it and then cheering me on the last stretch getting me through the finish!  You see I wouldn't want to compete in an event like Tough Mudder with anyone but this crazy, mad group of nutters.  Because, you see I know with these ladies I will get round it because, the minute I doubt I can't or say I can't they will be there telling me to Man Up and stop whining.

I can still remember the look some of them gave me when I fist brought up Tough Mudder.  Well most did apart from two.................the ones I knew would do it from the start Kim and Simone.  Two of the fittest ladies I know and the ones I always tried to keep up with in challenges!

The night we signed up for the challenge was the night of no return.  Watching the videos on YouTube was like a form of torture but I just couldn't stop!  It's like an addiction, just like facebook.  But, the more I watched the more I couldn't wait to do it.  So if I was going to sign up to something that could possibly just kill me I was going to do it for a good cause.  Trying to pick what charities to do it for one something I struggled with.  There are so many worthy causes out there but it was someone telling me to choose something close to my heart that made the decision easier.  Anthony Nolan and Leukaemia Research are two causes that are forever prevalent in my life so the decision was made.

  I just had no idea how to get more people interested.  Yet again I have no idea why I was worried.  Each night I just kept bringing up Tough Mudder when we met and slowly but surely I could see interest in more of the girls.  The cost was one main factor I know alot that were interested couldn't sign up it's definitely not a cheap event and not one that you couldn't do without being committed.

No turning back The Destroyers are born :)

Roll on 8 months of training, hard work and crazy ideas.................The team has grown to 10 and one crazy supporter who, deep down I think wants to do it but her fear of mud and bugs is stopping her.  Still wouldn't change her for the world.  So The Destroyers are born Simone, Kim, Amanda, Susan, Barbara, Kath, Kirsty, Angeline, Donna, myself and of course Kelly.  We may not finish fastest and it definitely won't be pretty but what I do know is we will start and finish as a team!  So 3 weeks from today I will say thank you and will be proud of my girls because if it wasn't for them signing up and helping me train my challenge would never have started let alone be part complete.  Love you all girlies and can't wait to celebrate on the finish line with you all xxx

Race Day!

Well it's been a long time coming round but boy did the last couple of months come quick!  A few set backs to training on the way and the next thing I knew it was race day.

Sporting a nice little stress fracture it was time to lace up and man up to face what I can only call my nemesis!  As most of my friends know I was never a runner, sports day, school PE, if I could avoid it I would.  Coming last officially becomes boring so finding excuses not to compete meant I didn't have to suffer coming last.  So was it going to happen again??

How scared do I look??

My world :)

Turning up to the event I had the all to unwelcome feeling I used to get before competing in an event.  Sickness, the little voices in my head (yep they talk to me all the time and yeah I always tend to have a full blown argument with them!) telling me I couldn't do it but inside I knew one thing,  even if I was going to be last I was finishing it with either a sprint or a crawl, that finish line would be mine.  My boys were going to see mummy finish something she had started.  Show them anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

Lining up for the start, I have never felt so sick.  Feeling like I was the only person there ready to run this for the first time.  I didn't even know if I could run 10k, seeing as I'd only ever managed 5 miles in training.  Talking to another competitor on the line though I then got to see I wasn't the only one with the queasy feeling, others were in the same boat as me.  Looking up at the first section of the course, uphill I may add it would have been so easy to just not even start.  But looking down at the tops I was wearing I knew it was time to M.T.F.U (Man The F**k Up!).

Standing waiting for the start with some of the girls I'm now proud to call friends, I started to fight back at those little voices telling me I couldn't.  Imagining all the times I was bullied or made to feel I wasn't good enough.  Because, those girls are what got me going.  They made me believe I could do it.  They have seen me at my worst trying to run the length of the hall when I first started.  When am purple, out of breathe ready to be sick, they spur me on to complete whatever I am trying to achieve.  They have never doubted me even though I am my own worst enemy for doubting my opinions.

Then we started................................................................

I'll never forget that course for the rest of my life.  I'd love to be able to say I enjoyed it but in all honesty I hated it, but there in lies what I have gained from it all.  I now want to run a race to be able to say I enjoyed it!

Go me!

Running those hills, or gentle slopes as I tried to tell myself when my legs and chest were on fire.  Seeing the faster runners run past me on their way back when I was still trying to get to the half way mark was a killer.  But my kids, parents and partner were all waiting for me. So, one way or another I was getting back and so help me I wasn't going to disappoint them.  Running the last section of the course up the hill I had a good sob.  I'm not afraid to admit it but then from somewhere that image popped in my head of my dad sat in the hospital receiving his last dose of chemo just hours before I went on to have my oldest son and something changed.   My body seemed to gain its second wind and running downhill to the finish I could see my parents there, proud and crying because for once their daughter was finishing a race and she wasn't last!  I don't honestly think I have ever ran as fast as I did coming in to the finish.  Hearing my name over the tannoy system and hearing people I now see as friends shout my name gave me a boost that nothing else could compare too.  Crossing the line to see my two most precious gifts waiting to hug me and my family proud of what I had achieved made it all worthwhile, the pain, the sleepless nights, all the old memories of failure.  Well, they have been replaced with a new found confidence.  Not only in my ability but in myself.  Everybody that competed should be proud.  Doing something outside of your comfort level gives you a sense of achievement like no other.

So where does that leave me..........................

In just over 3 weeks I now get to compete with the most amazing bunch of people I have met.  Tough Mudder is almost here and I can't wait!  The event that started it all for me.  The crazy journey that has now taken over my life for the summer...............................Bring on the electrocution and nettles I say because with this group of ladies I know I can do it!