Race Day!

Well it's been a long time coming round but boy did the last couple of months come quick!  A few set backs to training on the way and the next thing I knew it was race day.

Sporting a nice little stress fracture it was time to lace up and man up to face what I can only call my nemesis!  As most of my friends know I was never a runner, sports day, school PE, if I could avoid it I would.  Coming last officially becomes boring so finding excuses not to compete meant I didn't have to suffer coming last.  So was it going to happen again??

How scared do I look??

My world :)

Turning up to the event I had the all to unwelcome feeling I used to get before competing in an event.  Sickness, the little voices in my head (yep they talk to me all the time and yeah I always tend to have a full blown argument with them!) telling me I couldn't do it but inside I knew one thing,  even if I was going to be last I was finishing it with either a sprint or a crawl, that finish line would be mine.  My boys were going to see mummy finish something she had started.  Show them anything is possible if you put your mind to it.

Lining up for the start, I have never felt so sick.  Feeling like I was the only person there ready to run this for the first time.  I didn't even know if I could run 10k, seeing as I'd only ever managed 5 miles in training.  Talking to another competitor on the line though I then got to see I wasn't the only one with the queasy feeling, others were in the same boat as me.  Looking up at the first section of the course, uphill I may add it would have been so easy to just not even start.  But looking down at the tops I was wearing I knew it was time to M.T.F.U (Man The F**k Up!).

Standing waiting for the start with some of the girls I'm now proud to call friends, I started to fight back at those little voices telling me I couldn't.  Imagining all the times I was bullied or made to feel I wasn't good enough.  Because, those girls are what got me going.  They made me believe I could do it.  They have seen me at my worst trying to run the length of the hall when I first started.  When am purple, out of breathe ready to be sick, they spur me on to complete whatever I am trying to achieve.  They have never doubted me even though I am my own worst enemy for doubting my opinions.

Then we started................................................................

I'll never forget that course for the rest of my life.  I'd love to be able to say I enjoyed it but in all honesty I hated it, but there in lies what I have gained from it all.  I now want to run a race to be able to say I enjoyed it!

Go me!

Running those hills, or gentle slopes as I tried to tell myself when my legs and chest were on fire.  Seeing the faster runners run past me on their way back when I was still trying to get to the half way mark was a killer.  But my kids, parents and partner were all waiting for me. So, one way or another I was getting back and so help me I wasn't going to disappoint them.  Running the last section of the course up the hill I had a good sob.  I'm not afraid to admit it but then from somewhere that image popped in my head of my dad sat in the hospital receiving his last dose of chemo just hours before I went on to have my oldest son and something changed.   My body seemed to gain its second wind and running downhill to the finish I could see my parents there, proud and crying because for once their daughter was finishing a race and she wasn't last!  I don't honestly think I have ever ran as fast as I did coming in to the finish.  Hearing my name over the tannoy system and hearing people I now see as friends shout my name gave me a boost that nothing else could compare too.  Crossing the line to see my two most precious gifts waiting to hug me and my family proud of what I had achieved made it all worthwhile, the pain, the sleepless nights, all the old memories of failure.  Well, they have been replaced with a new found confidence.  Not only in my ability but in myself.  Everybody that competed should be proud.  Doing something outside of your comfort level gives you a sense of achievement like no other.

So where does that leave me..........................

In just over 3 weeks I now get to compete with the most amazing bunch of people I have met.  Tough Mudder is almost here and I can't wait!  The event that started it all for me.  The crazy journey that has now taken over my life for the summer...............................Bring on the electrocution and nettles I say because with this group of ladies I know I can do it!